they say home is where the heart is but i lose it all the time i am more nervous than i'm willing to admit and i guess that just makes us alike please god fade away my sight it only reflects what i despise and i toss and turn at night because my dreams are haunted by yr stupid fucking eyes but i'll try not to be so blue i saw you sitting on a hill with a cigarette in your hand getting fucking sick of all the cheap thrills and nothing ever ending as planned anxious and alone clutching to your telephone knowing that you have to atone but laughing because you know you won't

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call me when summer ends cause i'll be waiting here with my only friends the kids have said that i don't belong and i'm not worthy of their shitty songs but one day i'll kill their love and hang it from the rafters above call me when summer ends i'll be waiting hear on the other end come on will you hear my pleas i'll probably die if you have to leave and i'm sure you must think i've grown but i haven't learned a thing from being alone (spur of the moment vocalization) call me when summer ends i'll be waiting here with my only friends i ain't got nothing that i need to attend to i'll be here i'll be here waiting on the other end

she gave me a smile across the river, across the sea so i guess this sentiment must be burried too deep it fills the hole in my heart up to the brim and it'll arrogantly say hello and goodbye again it shakes and rattles the blood inside your bones a sacred and possessed destruction of the soul but it'll all fall back in place and we'll say it's all the same and we'll put band-aids on our skin to cover up the shame please god say that you got my call cause the fifth don't want you anymore i want to speak and yell and fuck but all this has been much too much if i even started the race the first steps would just break my legs and they did oh they did i suspect that you're the catalyst even though you said you were the masochist did you think that i wanted this and i can only guess you were the catalyst but i aint the sadist do you think that i wanted this i guess i'm just left here with my guesses like a wound like it should okay cool

i've been waiting hours just for the light to break on through so i can pass out on the ground for a year or two i'll meet you on the parking ramp so you can say what you wanted to say but i hope you realize that it'll all just fade away we're the best around we're the best you got and we'll still be here even when you've moved on they call us city blend I am starting to feel like death cause i've been awake for a week my eyes are red and my throat is numb and i can barely speak fixated on the tv screen my brain's about to crack the longer you've been down this road the harder it is to turn back we're the best around we're the best you got and we'll still be here even when you've moved on they call us city blend all i want's a big house some wine and some cigarettes but i guess this overpass is as good as it's gonna get cause who wants anything when nothing is right here all the pain and all the joy fades to nothing left to fear we're the best around we're the best you got and we'll still be here even when you've moved on they call us city blend

it's just a habit a bad addiction that leaves good feelings but no emotion the idea that i've been here before but nothing seems the same anymore when i get back the white washed walls are turning black the hallway leads to a heart attack i don't care but i'll try comfort of a kid in a grateful home comfort of for the kid growing up alone comfort of being yourself around the ones you love silent pain and a lovely rain that leaves you broken but new again keep telling yourself that you'll be okay it's been a long time and boring time to lose the shell of my shallow mind to the shotgun shell of my boring past nothing was ever meant to last you said goodbye i don't ask why you say don't even try and don't waste my time

anxious motions spawn from the absent theft of dreams, produced a worry (ethereal) thought of no matter no mind, no kind. thoughts avoid this empty vessel. no one wanted to listen to the unreal reality. facade of life. lived so unquestioningly in fear of being fortune forgotten abandon with all my friends waited on. as i became a ghost. a ghost of what i once was and will become. a bad dream. tell me it's a bad dream. tell me it's a bad dream. cause i'm tired of living desire of living how i wanna live. i wanna grow up but i never wanna stop reliving in the past. it's just a trance got me stuck in a loop it was. it was too easy to look back. i saw the happiest even though i was the saddest. I'll reduce it into one moment one day while i mumble out what i couldn't say at objects that mean little to me as i lose what's left of my sanity. what a waste, what a bounty, what a waste of time, what a waste of the best years of my life. surrounding thoughts that had to resonate the feeble minds the generation left behind in selfish pursuit of money and fame. try to convince me the name of the game. resentment and angst are my washed up way of mocking myself as i try to play the chords that i'll never recreate in the panic attack. I bet your family is disappointed in you but imagine if they had to deal with me. I mean the things that don't really exist and searching for the meaning of it step on me. step on me cause everyone does and i'll let you if it'll make you smile. lose feelings to pass. thank you for the effort the mature ones still don't get it though. and the kids, who fall right past, believing in nothing, because nothing is what lasts. what do you dream? do you see your friends? everything past to no ends, still no ends. those left sinking in the waking sea forget nothing, cause everything is nothing of what's seen. ah to be young again and then to waste away in time enough at last let's inhale our sex let's make new music, cause we're not afraid anymore of the solid noise in the back corner reaches. everything you love leaves in the end. i'll stop loving everything so i can never be lonely. you see that kid? see that kid? that kid stares deep pissin' on everything i know and love, with eyes so vacant, oppressive, mean-spirited and dominant. wanting selfish sacrifice of the cold breathes from the bones. no soul in this deep web. in heart for validation. in heart for friends. cause i just don't get it. and i don't want to. i don't understand because if i understood, i'd be in pain and i wouldn't care. and i don't care. i only care cause i can't get loose from the ones i love. there's only success now. and i can't do that cause i'm barely hear as it is. i have no money, i have no good looks, i only have bullies in my mind. directly into the camera. no smiles/no heart. no soul. sold it for a cheated pain. that's okay. i'm okay. tell me i'm okay. tell me about a nightmare soul that levitated out of the blue. the days turn sour, the weeks rot off. the soul in the other room is resisting temptation by noise. our inner angels in shackles by boulders of my mind. tried to be good but it's so easy being said in the end of time. hours of pointless lust because reality is turning us. as we circle ourselves in blank minds, wrestling true love in a blank stare. oh god it's more than i hoped for and more than we asked. drifting towards better times with endless bummer dreams. shattered on the ground. controling the endless forces of the backyard sky. you know heart and soul isn't enough to take it in. color fades to grey fades to color again. at the holds of emotion with no emotion. no toll, just another next love. next to nothing which is most things, inspired by death dragging on with life. because a memory dissolves like madmen. and all my friends are out with temptation and satan's here by my side. my peers don't get me and i barely get myself, a teenager with nothing to give. another year is dead and gone, and i'm overjoyed that it is done. i hated it it hated me, but i'm glad that you were here to see, my wasted days my wasted time my wasted kids in a wasted life